I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
