just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
