its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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