Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I am morally bankrupt
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
