his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
