glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
