Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
