Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize