super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
