i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just want nice things and good sex
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
