i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
