grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
