my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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