3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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