you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
