Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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