I just cut my nipple shaving
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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