wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
