Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
