My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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