I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
