Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
