i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
