I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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