I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
