My first STD was from a foam party
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
