I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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