What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
