i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize