some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
