Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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