My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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