I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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