I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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