Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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