We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
birth control should be required to get into college
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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