he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
