Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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