Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
