Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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