Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
