dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
