He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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