what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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