Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
