Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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