Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
