Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
