I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
