We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
