Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize