Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
