Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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