she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
