Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
