yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize