just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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