I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
