It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
