I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
