I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize