Small penises have feelings too.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
