Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
