just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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