Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
