I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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